What does any one person want, but rarely treat themselves to?  A massage.  Since 99.997% of all people are stressed these days (we’d at least say it’s a safe estimate), it’s no wonder we all love someone kneading out the stress from our tight and high strung muscles.  When is the last time you heard someone say, “Oh, man, I’ve gotta go get a massage tonight. I hate those.  What a waste of time.”  NEVER.  You will never hear that on the lips of anyone.  Unless it’s opposite day.

Since Valentine’s Day is coming up, why not give your partner a massage?  Sure, you didn’t go to massage therapy school, but we have a few pointers to help you fake it until you make it.  (We’re also banking on the fact that they’ll be so thrilled you offered and are trying that you’ll get some bonus points there too.)

Time it right: Massage for Dummies points out something that should be obvious, but could be a huge tactical error if you don’t plan ahead.  Don’t give a massage right after a meal.  Allow for your partner’s last meal to have digested before you start pushing and prodding, er, we mean kneading and soothing.

Don’t forget the hands: While most people assume their neck, shoulders and back will be a part of the massage, some people forget about the hands.  In a computer frenzy day-in-age, our hands often hold a lot of stress in them. Adding the hands to the massage will help it seem extra luxurious and care taking.  But, you’ll want to switch up the product for this portion.  Using a typical massage oil can leave their hands extra greasy.  We’d suggest a high quality body butter, like Modere Body Butter, that will soften the skin while leaving no greasy after feel (and not to mention smell wonderful).

Location, location, location: Make sure that were you’re giving the massage is ideal.  Askmen.com points out there should be no kids, pets, or other distractions (i.e. put the phones away!).  Make sure it’s clean and uncluttered.  Also, be sure there is a firm place to lie down, or a comfortable seat to sit in.  Be thoughtful and have a pillows to prop their head up.  By showing you’re not doing a last minute gesture, but that you’ve taken time to prepare for a complete relaxation experience they’ll be even more impressed.  If you really want to Fabio it, (no, we’re not suggesting you massage using I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter) you could even go for candles and mood music.

If you can manage to do these three tips, then you’re well on your way to a good, or at least decent massage.  And, we’re sure your partner most likely won’t mind you having to practice to get better.  As long as you’re concentrated on them, and listen to their input (be sure to heed things like “I can’t breathe!”) then you should be set.  If all else fails, try some Mr. Miyagi “wax on, wax off”.  And, if the massage goes really bad, at least gift them with the rest of the Modere Body Butter, and then they won’t feel it’s been a wasted experience.

Happy massaging.